In the midst of it...

We got the call this morning that our closing will be Friday afternoon at 2:30!!! Thank goodness yesterday was Josh's last day at work. We have been working hard all morning packing up the last of our stuff. I'm so glad we felt motivated to do the majority of it last weekend! We'll be going today to my parents and staying there until we leave, probably Tuesday.


Thank goodness for Little Einsteins and camping chairs!


How did so much come out of such a small kitchen!


Nearly full!

Little victories...

It's been said here more than once that my biggest struggle with having a child who has autism is patience. When I am feeling impatient everything goes haywire. When I am patient, life is calm, and Jonah is more flexible. Josh and I talk about it all the time how we have to work hard at being the adults around here. It's easy to get flustered, frustrated and irritable, instead of remembering that this is our child whom we love more than anything, who with our guidance can overcome his disability. We try to remind eachother and ourselves of this constantly.

Yesterday, Jonah watched videos all afternoon. I'll admit Jonah watches a lot of t.v. anyway, but with most of the house packed there is little else to do. He's figured out how to change the dvd on his own, so I let him watch what he wanted. It got close to dinner time and he asked for one more (he needs me to press play) and I said no. He got upset and started speaking nonsense and acting aggressive. I asked him to come sit on my lap so we could talk about it. He was fighting, trying to hit and kick with his frustration. This is what usually sends me to the boiling point, he's a strong kid and it hurts when he hits. I was praying in my head for God to just help me remember how much I love this kid. I was able to calmly tell him that it was okay to be upset that he couldn't watch another dvd, but that he needed to calm himself down. He was almost there when he backhanded me on the side of my face. I didn't lose it, didn't yell, just picked him up and took him to his room and told him he needed to stay there till he calmed down. I hate it that yelling is usually my response to these moments, so this was a great victory for me in dealing with a tantrum from Jonah. Now I know this paragraph is full of things that seem totally off with conventional parenting. That's the thing with autism, conventional doesn't work. I take responsibility for some of the aggression that Jonah shows, because he's seen it from me (not hitting of course!), by yelling I've only showed him it's okay to lose control. I needed to write this to give myself a reminder of what both Jonah and I are capable of. Lately I've started to feel afraid of Jonah when he's in a tantrum, I need prayers that we'll continue to work on this before he gets any bigger. For now, having victory over my impatient instincts feels great.

The other instance was today when we decided to go out and run some errands. Jonah was still in his jammies, but his jammies were just a normal pair of shorts and t-shirt, so I didn't suggest that he gets dressed. We got out to the van and as I was waiting for Jonah to buckle himself, he remembered that he was still in his jammies. I REALLY did not want to go back inside so he could get changed, and we are trying to work on him being more flexible, so I took a deep breath and told him that I thought he looked fine in what he was wearing. He seemed on the verge of a tantrum about it, so I repeated myself that I thought he looked great. He actually stopped himself and thought about it and said "Whatever! These will be clothes today, not jammies." Wow, what a huge relief and I was so proud of his flexibility. A situation like this would usually explode into a huge meltdown.

EDIT: Well it looks like we won't be closing on the house until next Wednesday 9/5. We were pretty bummed but whats a few more days to the rest of our lives?? The trip to Mount Rushmore will have to wait for another day, but that's okay. Lorrie and I were chatting today and already said that it may be very fun to all go together and camp next spring.


So the time is getting near for us to leave for Colorado. This means our days have been full of packing and planning. This is really exhausting for me and I don't have much energy for blogging. We're almost completely packed up. We bought a 14' trailer and it is going to be full! We sold many of our larger items so we could travel lighter and are planning on replacing things via craigslist.com once out there. It's rather fun looking at what's available, since it changes almost daily. We're hoping that exactly what we will need will pop up on the right days. Our arrival date in Colorado is September 7th. If we close on our house this Friday the 31st, we're planning leaving Indiana on Labor Day and taking a detour to go to Mount Rushmore in South Dakota for a couple days next week. If that doesn't work out, we can plan on going another time since it will only be about 5 1/2 hours away from Fort Collins. So cool!

Cason still speaks in babbles alot. I love it and love trying to figure out what he's trying so hard to say.

Here's some Casonism's.

Dat Noey- He would say this at random times, usually several time in a row. Finally a couple days ago, something in the house made a noise while I was changing his diaper and he said "What dat noey?" Oohhh, what's that noise!

Heeeeeyyyyy there power! - This is from his Wiggle's song radio thing that came with a book he got for him birthday. It's actually heeeyyy there partner!

And my favorite...everytime I buckle him into his carseat he says "Thank you, my mama!"

Happy Birthday Jonah!

My favorite moment from this last year- the day Jonah gave his life to Christ.

Can't wait to see what's coming for him over the next year!

It's been a tiring weekend. We had a garage sale Friday. By the end of the day we felt there wasn't enough stuff left to do it again Saturday and I was just fine with that. We do still have a couch that needs to go though. Anyone need a couch? It felt like major progress to being ready for the move. In addition to that, Josh's Nissan truck sold Friday!

So Saturday, everyone woke up overly tired and as Josh said we were all a little "spanky". We tried to make the best of the day though. Pancakes for breakfast, trip to Target and lunch at Chili's. Chili's was crazy, Cason was crazy at Chili's, I felt crazy by the time we left. We came home to take naps, but life intervened. Josh has been talking to a guy he works with about buying his trailer and the timing was right so we were back out the door sooner than later. We drove to Churubusco and were there for a while chatting and then hitched the trailer up and left. About two miles down the road we hit a bump on a bridge and Josh could tell right away something wasn't right. We get another half mile down and he realizes the trailer is loose. It was hanging on by the chains. We slowed down gradually and it was hitting the back of the truck. Apparantly the other guy had either forgotten to put the pin in or forgotten the part that keeps the pin in. Josh then lifted the trailer while I shoved a tire underneath. Yes, I did just say he lifted the trailer, he's the man! Luckily we had another hitch pin and were back on the road quickly.

Today Josh went to a Nascar race in Michigan. Only it ended up being rained out so he had a pretty disappointing day.

The boys and I did okay for most of the day. But it was a cold rainy day and by about 4 o'clock I started feeling a little loopy.

Josh just got home a little bit ago, the boys are in bed and I've got a fresh pan of brownies in the kitchen. Here's hoping the rest of the week is better.

A new link...

You may notice I added a new link to my links list. I stumbled across Autism Diva's blog after using Blogger's new "find people with your same interests" tool.

Someday I hope to be able to be as thoroughly knowledgeable about the autism world as what I have read on this blog. I don't expect anyone else to become avid readers, but if you'd like a glimpse into my world and the thoughts that I struggle with check it out. It must be a full time job to pull together the information that is on her blog. Either way, be happy for me, that I have found someone expressing views towards autism that I have felt in my gut, but have had neither the emotional resources or the time to research and study.

Well if Murphy's law holds true, if your child sleeps in till 8:20 on Monday they are guaranteed to wake up at 6:20 on Tuesday. In his defense I think he would have slept later, but Cason had gotten out of bed sometime during the night and was sleeping on the floor by the door. We could hear him occasionally rolling/bumping into it, so when Josh got up he went in to put him back in his bed. This woke Jonah up, with much confusion, and prevented him from falling back asleep. It's a quiet, slightly cloudy day so we are happily taking it easy.

We had a scare yesterday that we almost lost our buyers. They had some credit stuff to work out and it wasn't working out. In order for them to continue they had to put some money down. Thankfully we got a call this morning that they were able to borrow what they needed from her dad and we are going forward. This is not a fun process and I'll be glad when it's over. I'm sure they are feeling the same way with their first baby due in a couple weeks.

So transitioning Cason to his big boy bed is going okay. I'm trying to remember to expect atleast two weeks of craziness before it feels normal to everyone. Right now we're using the Supernanny method. It works pretty good with Cason, not so much with Jonah. Basically you put the children to bed and then just sit on the floor in the middle of the room with your head down. Little to no interaction should happen. Three nights ago when Josh did this it worked like a charm and he was out of the room in fifteen minutes. The night before last I had to remove Jonah from the room after 20 minutes because he would stop talking/singing. Cason was asleep within ten minutes of that. Last night was a little more tough. I yet again had to remove Jonah from the room, but Cason was starting to catch on to his brother's tactics and it took an hour for him to finally fall asleep. If I leave the room before he is asleep, he's out of bed, playing with the outlet where their nightlight and fan are plugged in, which makes me uncomfortable. I'm about to throw in the towel on the Supernanny method and just let it be a free for all until the excitement wears off. Jonah slept in the playroom last night and is STILL asleep at 8:20, a unheard of time for him. It's making me go hmmmnn? Is it worth it to have them apart because they may sleep longer, or is it better for them to get used to sleeping together?

Just in case you want a new t.v....

Go here. Another great giveaway from 5 Minutes For Mom and Best Buy. C'mon, you know you want to! Who wouldn't want a 37" Flat Panel television FREE!

Success!!

It was hard work, but Cason's first night in his new bed was a success. We started bedtime later than usual, hoping he would extra tired. Armed with a new very loved Nana blankie we laid him down after we said our prayers and left the room. This did not work as he just got up and was roaming the room, upsetting Jonah in the process. I put him back in the bed a couple times, always with the same results...crying. I realized he was probably confused about what he was supposed to do so I decided to go in and lay down with him. He fell asleep on my chest within a few minutes, but then Jonah needed to get up and get some allergy medicine from Daddy. Cason popped up "blah da blee bruh bruh!" I settle him again, but then decide it will be awfully hard to get out of the bed if he's on my chest, so I lay him next to me and cuddled close. I could hear him relaxing so I slowly moved away from him till I thought I could get off the bed without him noticing. He did notice and sat up, but I was able to lay him down and put my hand on his back. Deep breathing again and I move my hand away. Wait a few minute, then scoot a few feet. Wait again, scoot again until I was almost to the door. I tested the door to see if he would notice the extra light coming it from it opening. No movement, so I get up on my feet and slide out quietly. All of this took somewhere around an hour. I slipped back in twenty minutes later to snap these pictures.

Today has been better. I find that stressful times are less stressful when it's a cloudy gray day. We had a great thunderstorm this morning and are still under heavy cloud cover. I don't feel as bad about having a quiet, "let's just survive" lazy day when the sun isn't blasting in the windows. Jonah has surprised me today with a simple act of obediance and that makes my day too. Thank you for the prayers!

Last night we went out and bought a new mattress for Cason. Yep, it's that time to transition from his crib to a real big boy bed. It's been a long time since we did this and I've been holding off. With the move coming soon and the crib scheduled to be sold at our garage sale in ~10 days, there is no more waiting. Right now, I can hear one unhappy little boy not taking a nap. Since the boys share a room, I thought it would be best to start with naps, when he is alone. I expect a lot of playing at bedtime. Cason has a nice little set up. Jonah has a loft bed from Ikea, so Cason's mattress goes right on the floor below Jonah. I'll have to take a picture. Ahh the banging on the door has begun! Wish us luck!

I think I found a great home from us in Colorado. It's in a great location. I'm waiting to receive an application from the owner. There are a lot of details that we are just waiting for to fall in place. We are will to let God reveal them to us as needed and were reminded recently that predictable is boring. This is an adventure meant for us, I want to remember to look at it that way. Some specific prayer requests....please pray that Josh's Nissan truck will sell. That is the biggest load on us right now. Pray that we'll find the right home location and that Josh will be blessed with work there (we're going planning on him being a subcontractor in his field). Pray that we will get a definite answer on a closing date for our house. Right now it's set for September 7th, but both us and the buyers would like for it to be earlier if possible. Pray that we will remember how blessed we are and to not fear what we don't know, because we believe God IS going before us.

Having a rough week with Jonah. Would appreciate prayers for patience and understanding.

I just remembered that I forgot to mention the best part of my birthday. How could I forget to mention the beautiful bouquet of roses and lilies Josh sent me?! Twelve beautiful long stem red roses with stargazer lilies. When Josh asked me to marry him seven years ago he said I was his lily among the thorns (Song of Solomon 2:2), seven years later, he's still reminding me that I'm his lily. I'm one very blessed woman!

Birthday week recap

I don't feel like being wordy so I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible. My birthday week was great, not what I expected, but what I needed.

We had a great visit with Val and Jason and their kiddos on Monday. Jonah, Abby and Emma got along fantastically. It's such a blessing to us when Jonah finds playmates who he actually plays with. He and Emma were quite attracted to eachother and were fast friends.





My actual birthday was quiet. Our air conditioner was not working so my mom invited Nancy and I to spend the day at their house. We relaxed, watched a movie, had some dinner. Josh and I finished the night with a mini date to Starbucks (thanks again Nancy!).

Nancy and I spent the week talking about anything and everything. Our best moment was on Friday when we went to get massages. My mom offered to watch my boys so we could go out and do something girly. It was recommended to me to look into a local beauty college, so not wanting to spend a lot of money we went for it. The experience was interesting. The massage was relaxing, but the atmosphere was funny. Four of us in one room. Whispered conversations, water running in the sink behind us, the microwave in the room next door signaling several peoples lunches were ready and the best part, a man walking in and talking loudly, shocking every one there. At least they had soft piano/nature sounds music playing and cloud scenes on the dimly lit flourescent ligthing overhead. Nancy and I had a good laugh about the experience afterwards.

Guest Blogger

Since Amy hasn't had the time to post lately, I'm gonna step in for this one. As of yesterday we are official heading toward the landing strip of closing the house. We met with the buyers to sign a purchase agrement last friday, and so we are legally bound to sell the house, as well as they are legally bound to buy it. Closing is set on or before Sept. 7th. The buyers are expecting their first baby, on Sept. 4th! So, we are both hoping for the BEFORE sept. 7th to happen. It's all in the paperwork right now, depending on how fast that gets settled.

Amy and I were recounting the other night about how amazing it has been to see God work this out. Two weeks ago we had no substantial interest. It just goes to prove that through the eyes of the Lord, He has everything planned out.

Packing has begun and we have taped up the first 3 boxes and have gathered just as many for yet another garage sale, and "to the trash" boxes!

That's it for me. I'll make sure Amy get some time to post tomorrow. Now back to your regularly scheduled blogger.

A Birthday Suprise!

After months of secrecy, the big reveal happened yesterday! Josh has been very cryptic about his plans for my birthday for months. Being the sneaky person I am, it's amazing he was able to pull off a good old fashioned surprise party. Several months ago he had told me I was going on a trip. I will say, I was skeptical that an actual trip was going to take place as there were too many things that just didn't fit. He stuck to his story though and had me so completely confused that I had no clue what the plans were.

He told me that after lunch he was going to take our boys to my parents house and while he was gone I was to pack a bag with three days worth of clothes. So when he left, I diligently packed, still wondering what was happening. I have to admit, I struggled with fearing that it was a big joke on me. Of course I trust Josh, I'm just really bad at feeling comfortable with secret plans. When he returned, he had me take several deeps breaths and say "I don't know what you are doing, but I'm going to have fun!"

I had told Josh that I wanted a necklace for my birthday, so our first stop was a trip to the mall. We took our time looking for the right one. I choose a white gold chain with a pendant of three circles, the middle one set with diamonds. To me it represents the three men in my life (Josh, Jonah and Cason) and the three decades of my life so far.

Then it was time to be blindfolded. I tried to study the turns he was making to get a clue about where we were going, but he was one step ahead of me, taking a longer route to our destination. We were arrived he helped be out and walked me across a grassy field. I could see the grass at my feet and knew we were at my parents house when we crossed into the greener grass closer to their house. Then Josh pulled off the blindfold and it was "SURPRISE!". Then Josh said there's another surprise inside. Waiting in the kitchen was Nancy! And the big secret was that she is staying for the week! Then a little later our friends Val and Jason from Nashville arrived. As I understand it, the ultimate goal was to have a reunion of all our friends from Colorado. To all of you who couldn't make it, you were missed and we hope to see you soon!

It was a great party, so much fun and I felt so special to all who attended. Today we'll get to spend more time with Val and Jason and their sweet children. Jonah may have met his future wife, after playing with Emma and Abby for several hours last night, he declared Emma the mother and he was Jason, the father. Such a blessing to spend time with these friends, for us and Jonah. Now I'm looking forward to a week of spending time with my dear friend Nancy (she even said she'd help me pack :).

Thank you to everyone who had anything to do with this!

Thank you, Josh, for growing old with me and loving me more each year!

The Dengler's are Colorado bound!

In case you didn't know...

Jonah just told us that boys have privates and girls have privacy. He will be teaching anatomy in no time!