I've got the blahs. I've been overly crabby and snippy with Josh and the boys since yesterday. I really hate days like these. Would you mind saying a prayer for me? I'd much rather be happy and patient.

I called the county Special Education Co-op yesterday. They are about 6-8 weeks out with making appointments so it'll be awhile till we get Jonah in for more testing. We're not in a rush right now so it's okay, but I am excited to see what they will do and the results. Anything that gives us understanding for how he looks at the world is worth it.

I think all of that may be related to why I've got the blahs, but I'm not sure how. Maybe I'm feeling some denial about it. I'm working so hard to put a positive spin on it, maybe I just need to allow myself to feel sad too. I don't know.

We're also putting a close to another chapter of our lives this week. We've decided not to have any more children. I feel this is an incredibly smart move for us, but I'm still experiencing a grieving process over it. I'm so ready to move on to the next phase of life. Going back to school and watching the boys grow up, being financially stable and taking regular vacations. Getting healthy by losing some weight and gaining some freedom by having older (and fewer) children. Still being young when they are graduating from high school and college. At the same time, I really loved giving birth and breastfeeding and the whole newborn phase. Cason hits 18 months on Sunday, he won't be my baby for too much longer. I'm so thankful that God choose me to be the mommy for these precious little boys.