A Birthday Suprise!

After months of secrecy, the big reveal happened yesterday! Josh has been very cryptic about his plans for my birthday for months. Being the sneaky person I am, it's amazing he was able to pull off a good old fashioned surprise party. Several months ago he had told me I was going on a trip. I will say, I was skeptical that an actual trip was going to take place as there were too many things that just didn't fit. He stuck to his story though and had me so completely confused that I had no clue what the plans were.

He told me that after lunch he was going to take our boys to my parents house and while he was gone I was to pack a bag with three days worth of clothes. So when he left, I diligently packed, still wondering what was happening. I have to admit, I struggled with fearing that it was a big joke on me. Of course I trust Josh, I'm just really bad at feeling comfortable with secret plans. When he returned, he had me take several deeps breaths and say "I don't know what you are doing, but I'm going to have fun!"

I had told Josh that I wanted a necklace for my birthday, so our first stop was a trip to the mall. We took our time looking for the right one. I choose a white gold chain with a pendant of three circles, the middle one set with diamonds. To me it represents the three men in my life (Josh, Jonah and Cason) and the three decades of my life so far.

Then it was time to be blindfolded. I tried to study the turns he was making to get a clue about where we were going, but he was one step ahead of me, taking a longer route to our destination. We were arrived he helped be out and walked me across a grassy field. I could see the grass at my feet and knew we were at my parents house when we crossed into the greener grass closer to their house. Then Josh pulled off the blindfold and it was "SURPRISE!". Then Josh said there's another surprise inside. Waiting in the kitchen was Nancy! And the big secret was that she is staying for the week! Then a little later our friends Val and Jason from Nashville arrived. As I understand it, the ultimate goal was to have a reunion of all our friends from Colorado. To all of you who couldn't make it, you were missed and we hope to see you soon!

It was a great party, so much fun and I felt so special to all who attended. Today we'll get to spend more time with Val and Jason and their sweet children. Jonah may have met his future wife, after playing with Emma and Abby for several hours last night, he declared Emma the mother and he was Jason, the father. Such a blessing to spend time with these friends, for us and Jonah. Now I'm looking forward to a week of spending time with my dear friend Nancy (she even said she'd help me pack :).

Thank you to everyone who had anything to do with this!

Thank you, Josh, for growing old with me and loving me more each year!

The Dengler's are Colorado bound!

In case you didn't know...

Jonah just told us that boys have privates and girls have privacy. He will be teaching anatomy in no time!

Nerve wracking days

We got an offer on Monday night. It was close, so we countered. We're still waiting to hear back. I called our realtor (we are realtor assisted for sale by owner) and they said give them 48 hours and then follow up. So that means we'll probably wait till tomorrow morning to call them if they haven't called by then. The wait is agonizing.

I feel like I can't do anything, because I'm consumed by waiting. It's silly. I think we will have to get out of the house this afternoon.

Another busy house showing day for us. A reshowing later this afternoon with extended family for the young couple expecting their first child. Two hours later another showing for a soon to be married couple. Wednesday the single lady is having an inspection done (her expense, no offer yet). We had someone stop by as we were out in our driveway ask about the house and say they would call to set up an appointment last night.

We're trying not to get too excited. We love to move. I'm feeling giddy thinking about moving into a new place. It takes me back to the many moves we made in our first few years. I'm looking forward to a house with a fenced in backyard (seems to be a Colorado staple) and a mountain view.

The boys are taking it in stride. They are both doing great!

Sell this house!

No that doesn't say we sold the house. But maybe, just maybe (PLEASE!) we could be closer to selling this house. After a couple quiet weeks, interest picked up this week. Today we showed it THREE times! We're exhausted. We think there's a really good chance we could have three offers in the next few days. All of the people were good buyers, pre-approved, seriously looking. Older lady, 30-something couple w/ two kids (10,11), and young couple expecting their first baby on September 4th. Say a prayer that one of them makes an offer that we can't refuse.

A walk in the woods + a stormy night

After dinner I was feeling restless and wanted to get out of the house. We decided to go for a walk near our local river/dam. After a little bit of disapointment on Jonah's part that we weren't going to the park we did some exploring. It was just starting to rain a little, but that couldn't stop us. The boys had the most fun finding rocks to throw into the water. What is more satisfying than hearing the plunk of a well tossed stone?! (Josh says it would be more fun if it were a raging river and we were throwing boulders, I agree). For now the boys can cut their teeth on this little Indiana river. We stopped at every little pocket through the trees we found to throw more stones. Then a walk through the woods took us back to the dam and we were headed home with two sweaty and tired boys.







As we were putting the boys to bed the big storms started rolling in. Jonah started off saying he was scared, but tiredness won out in the end. By the time the storms were at their worst both boys were sound asleep. I kept saying to Josh that I was really surprised that we hadn't heard anything from either boy. Around 10:45 we heard our sump pump flushing (is that what you call it?), so we ran downstairs to check if there was water in that room. There was a good amount, luckily that room is the low point of the basement so it doesn't go anywhere else. We were stumped as to why the water was coming in where it was because we've never had it happen there before. Josh decided to go out and check the gutters. So at 11 p.m. with lightning and thunder crashing all around him, he was out there cleaning out the gutters. It stopped the water in the basement so it was worth, even though I think it just reinforced his desire to move out of here as soon as possible.

Another name in the Book of Life!!!

Yesterday Jonah asked Jesus to live in his heart.


Though knowing he was young we have been talking to Jonah about accepting and believing in Jesus for a while now. He's always demonstrated a simple faith, so though we knew he believed we hoped that one day he would pray the sinner's prayer with us. Lately Jesus' love for him seems to have really sunk in because he's been bringing up how Jesus loves him alot. So yesterday while Josh was telling Jonah how he loved me, Jonah's reply was "Like Jesus love me." With the door open, Josh told him again how Jesus died on the cross for our sins and that he did it because he loves us and wants us to live forever in Heaven with him. Josh asked if he wanted to pray to ask Jesus into his heart and Jonah said yes! In the past he has said yes, but then clammed up and asked us to pray for him. This time though, he was happy to repeat Josh's simple prayer of repentance.

I am so thankful to know that I can share God's love with Jonah and that he will have the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide him through this life.

Cason learned a new word yesterday - Volvo. There was one parked in front of my Mom and Dad's house yesterday and Jonah was asking me why it was there. We go inside and Cason looks at Nana, points outside and says "It's a Vol-Vo!" I wish I could add some audio cause it's so cute. Now I think for the time being all cars are Volvo's to him. This morning he's playing in the playroom, driving the cars on the floor. He makes the groaning/growling sound as he's doing it. Then he'll pick a car up and show me and say "It's a Vol-Vo!"

Cason at age two is fun and interesting. He's got so much personality. He loves to kick a ball. He lines it up and kicks, always with his right foot. I find this amazing. Yesterday we were playing peek-a-boo. He says kapokaboo. Kapokaboo! He'll repeat things you say when you least expect it. Everything comes out with an exclamation point. He's also opinionated and is very fond of the word "NO!". If I'm scolding him about something, he does this I'm not going to look at you thing. He's great at following directions. Yesterday he picked up a plate after dinner and I asked him to take it to the kitchen and he put it in the trash. Close enough. Every morning when I get him up, he starts babbling right away, I'll pick him up and he reaches back and says "mahkie, mahkie!" My blankie. He loves his blankie's.

Yesterday it was hot! We were stuck at home due to Jonah's carseat being in Josh's truck. So I decided to turn on the sprinkler, grab a bunch of bowls and take them outside to play in the water. Cason didn't mind it, didn't love it, but he got wet. Jonah wouldn't come near the sprinkler at all. I wasn't surprised, just hoped maybe he'd give it a try. He did like it once I turned the sprinkler off and let him play with the hose. He made sure to spray his brother a couple times. Then I tried to show them how to make mud pies. Cason thought it was very funny that I was playing in the mud, but wouldn't touch it himself. Jonah really wanted to do it, but just couldn't overcome whatever was holding him back from going for it. He get his hands almost in the mud and stop. It was still a fun time. Today the weather is nicer, not so hot, so I think we're going to walk to the park for lunch.

Tonight Josh and I are going on a date! We've really been craving some time to ourselves lately. I think it's been since Valentine's Day that we had a date. That's really bad! I think we're going to go downtown, have some dinner, take a walk and just be Josh and Amy for a couple hours. I can't wait!

Am I coming out of hiding? Finally, I think so. I've been dealing with some stress/anxiety things lately. I knew it but didn't at the same time. I kept thinking what's wrong with me everything's fine. But it wasn't. I was having nightmares that left me in emotional turmoil. To the point that I was having major heart palpitations a dozen times a day or so. I think I'm back on the road to thinking more clearly and positively, but if you see me go an a haitus from really writing here for that long again, will you say a prayer for me, it usually means somethings up.

The other day we were driving around and I looked up and saw two birds. A mother or father hawk and its baby. They were high above the treetops. The fledgling was probably taking one of it's first flights. Clumsy and wings fluttering wildly. It would dip and the parent hawk would swoop underneath and be the support the baby needed to try again. It was amazing.

I feel like I'm caught at a time in my life, where I'm both the fledgling and the parent hawk. Sometimes I'm the one dipping and flapping wildly, and sometimes I'm the parent supporting my babies. Learning to fly and teaching to fly at the same time. It's not easy, and I'm so thankful for my faith in God. I cannot imagine not having the hope in knowing that God will guide me, protect me, love me and move me.

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.

I'm writing something just for the sake of writing. It's sad.

It's Monday morning after having a three day weekend with Josh and I miss having him around. Luckily we have the fourth of July on Wednesday so it breaks the week up nicely.

Mark and Lorrie have left by now for phase 3 (by my calculations) of their move to Colorado. I have to admit, that we were about to pack everything up and just take off ourselves. The thought is appealing. But we know the wise thing is to wait for this house to sell. So far no offers, our last showing (last Wednesday) was the most promising so we hope to hear from them again. We hope to be able to join Mark and Lorrie in Colorado yet this year.

Other than that, things are going well. The boys are good. That's all.

Song for Jonah

It's Amazing by Mindy Smith

Baby doll, my baby doll
You're just fine the way you are
So what's the matter?
Where's the problem?
They don't love you
'Cause they don't know you
Like I do

Can you see
It's amazing what you do to me
Took my heart and made me feel things
I never felt before
It's changing me
Which direction so certainly
Shook me up and threw me around
Helped me learn to breathe
It all in

Tiger lily, my tiger lily
You're just wild
You're as wild as they come
So what's the trouble?
Where's the problem?
You're just a growing beautiful someone

Can you see
It's amazing what you do to me
Took my heart and made me feel things
I never felt before
It's changing me
Which direction so certainly
Shook me up and threw me around
Helped me learn to breathe
It all in

When I was afraid to reach out
Oh, when I was the one to run
You came along with a new lease on love
To show me how it's done

Can you see
It's amazing what you do to me
Took my heart and made me feel things
I never felt before
It's changing me
Which direction so certainly
Shook me up and threw me around
Helped me learn to breathe
It all in

Helped me learn to breathe it all in

Trying to get unstuck...

I'm feeling stuck lately. This is a pretty deep rooted issue with not dealing with my emotions on things. It's not that I'm in denial, it's just lack of time, lack of peace, lack of knowledge. I'll get there, but it the mean time, I'm challenging myself to little exercises to help me move along. For some reason the best idea I can come up with is to make myself some top five lists. I've got several lists floating around in my head and I'm using my blog to get them out. Think of this as a way to get to know me better and to be honest I'd love some feedback. Motherhood is feeling fairly isolating for me right now. So my first list is about escape. My top five ultimate vacation destinations. I consider it a hobby, searching the internet for relaxing, exciting, interesting, adverturous places to go. These are the five I would love to make happen in my lifetime, although if I only get to one, even that would be great.

In no order...

Remota Patagonia, Chile

Verana Yelapas, Mexico

Rocky Mountaineer A Canadian Rocky Mountain Rail Vacation

Coeur Des Alpes Zermatt, Switzerland with views of the Matterhorn

Navutu Stars Resort Fiji

About time

It's taken me too long to get to this post. Even though it's now sort of old news I'm going to post it anyway.

We had a great weekend for Father's day and Cason's birthday. We left Saturday and drove over to the suburbs of Chicago. After checking into our hotel we went to Woodfield Mall. We didn't have a lot of time and no real reason for being there so we just wandered a little bit. We had plans to meet up with my parents and Mark and Lorrie and kids at Geno's East for dinner so after a short time at the mall we headed over there. The food was great and it was fun to see that the spot where I painted my name with white out twelve years ago on a trip with friends to celebrate finishing high school was still there. Then we all went back to the hotel for some swimming and cake and presents for Cason.

Sunday we actually sort of got to sleep in due to the time change. We had breakfast and drove to Six Flags Great America. We had planned this as a fun Father's Day outing for the guys. In retrospect I think most of the kids are still a little too young, but it was still a fun day. It was neat because we used to go to Great America with our cousins every summer growing up, so it was cool to be taking my kids with their cousins. We all tried to stay together, but sixteen people is a lot to keep happy so after a couple hours we split off into our individual families. Cason was not very happy for most of the day, which made us feel bad because it was his birthday so we left the park around 3:30 and went to Gurnee Mills. We had dinner at the Rainforest Cafe which Cason loved and then spent some time shopping at Bass Pro Shops. It was really just so nice to get away from normal life for a bit. Since then it's been a busy week with soccer camp and some other stuff so we're all feelling a little sleep deprived right now.

Another year gone by. Cason turns two this Sunday and since we're going to be very busy this weekend I'm doing his birthday post now. Another year of Cason, such a blessing. He was born out of the most amazing experience in my life, a moment that changed me forever and sealed my desire to become a midwife. I hope he'll know someday how much he means to me because of that. Of course, every day with him, watching him become a little person has added to that love. What a priveledge to be his mommy.















The picture with the orange shirt is from one year ago and the other from last week.

Happy Birthday Cason James!

Buzz, buzz, buzz

It's been ten days since we put the sign in the yard. We got our first call on Saturday. We've had four more calls since then. We showed it tonight, though we're chalking that up to practice cause she wasn't really a serious buyer. We're showing it again tomorrow night. I'm excited!

I'm having a blogger dry spell, I don't know what's up, every time I think to write something I clam up. Writer's block?

The boys are always a good fallback I suppose.

I'm thinking about contacting all the moms from Jonah's preschool class to see if they'd like to set up a "Wednesdays at the park" sort of thing. I think Jonah really misses the kids from school. I think it's a good idea, it's just one of those things where my anxiety starts to take over and actually following through is tough. I'm over thinking it. It would be totally casual, show up if you want to, no worries if you don't, we would still have fun each week even if it was just us. Pray for me that I would just do it.

Cason is showing us the meaning of terrible two's He'll be two on Sunday but he's getting some practice in early. I feel like the mom in the "I Love You Forever" book. He learned the word "no" this week, so I'm hearing it a lot these days. This little personality is so fun to me. It really shows me the difference in how it was with Jonah. I don't really know how to explain it yet, but parenting Cason at this age is completely different. You can tell he knows he should do what I'm asking but is practicing self-will. In the end his defiance is refreshing, because it's true defiance and the consequences are more clear, the lessons more easily learned. He's also so much fun, just like his brother was at this age. The world is full of endless exploration. There's some big changes headed his way.

Cason's potty training routine

Yes it does kinda gross me out that he has his hands all over the toilet and his face right over the toilet as it flushes but it's awfully cute, isn't it? Don't worry I wash his hands when he's done.

After lunch today the boys and I went to the park. It's been a couple weeks since we went and I thought we could use some fresh air. I'm really starting to enjoy taking them places. It's still easier if I only have one, but taking them both somewhere gets easier each month. Jonah tends to stick closer and Cason is big enough that I don't have to carry him all the time.

Cason enjoying swinging.


Jonah monkeying around.


After Jonah played for a while we took a walk by the river.









We also saw a very large blue heron that was within ten feet, but my camera make a jingle when it turns on, so the bird flew to the other side of the river, bummer!

It's official! The sign went up this morning, our house is for sale. One more step of the way to give us the freedom to go back to Colorado. Can't wait to see how this goes!



Some updates on the boys...

Cason hit a milestone recently. I can now give him a sandwich without cutting it. In fact he wouldn't eat sandwiches before when I would cut them up, so one day I just decided to give it to him whole and see what he would do. Imagine my surprise when he ate it instead of throwing it on the floor. He is also still very intrigued with the potty. The only piece of the pie that he's missing is the actually going part. If the bathroom door is open it goes like this. Cason: I sit on potty. I sit on potty. Said while lifting his arms to be put on the potty. Then 10 seconds of sitting and he's lifting his arms to be let down. He pulls the potty seat off, sets it on the floor, then closes the lid, walks around the toilet and flushes it. We could repeat this 20 times a day. I need to get video before the novelty wears off.

Jonah is doing much better. I think he's gotten through the adjustment phase from school ending. I don't feel quite as desperate as I was feeling two weeks ago. I'm still looking for some options throughout the summer to keep him stimulated. He's going to do soccer camp at our church in two weeks. Last year it was a disaster, but we were still in the dark about his autism then. I think with a head's up to his coaches he'll do great this year and I know he'll enjoy being with the other kids. Then I think we may do VBS at Mark and Lorrie's church the week after. We've got some other exciting things planned through the summer too so it should be a fun couple of months.

One of my favorite things to do in the summer is take pictures of all the pretty things growing on our property. Here are some to enjoy.

My rose bush is loaded with buds. I love these beautiful flowers!


One of the five giant poppys that are blooming.