It's been a long week. I've been having some ahem issues from my antibiotic, so it's been another week of feeling off. I'm now trying to consume my body weight in yogurt to try and correct said issues. On top of that Mazzy is having same said issues and we are beside ourselves with what to do. We've resorted to giving her pepto-bismal. Hopefully her issues will clear up soon too, as we have little interest in spending money at the vet on her. I know we probably have no business being pet owners but here were are now making the best of it. I will call the vet Monday if she's still not functioning better.

I realized something about myself just now. I really don't like chaos. The problem with that is that I also don't care much for order. Lurking somewhere in the middle really doesn't work though. I'm gonna have to do something about that I think.

We got Jonah's IEP (individualized education plan) in the mail yesterday. I'm very happy that this experience has been good so far. Josh and I were agreeing last night that everyone we worked with seemed genuinely interested and focused on Jonah. No feeling like we were just another kid (family) coming through the system. The special ed preschool teacher who will providing his support called yesterday to get our email address so she could foward the information for the support group. The next meeting is April 9th. The speaker will be talking on relationships and dynamics in families with a child on the autism spectrum. I'm looking forward to that.

We had our conference with the experts from ECSEC today. I'll just come out and say the bottom line, which is that they believe he actually fits a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism more than he does Asperger's. The basic reasoning for this is that there is more diagnostic criteria for HFA than Asperger's. He meets all the criteria for both and since there is more criteria for HFA that tips the scale in it's favor. They said as he grows up it may end up looking more like Asperger's. I think that is because there is maybe the possibility of outgrowing some of the autistic tendencies. Or at least he has the chance of self managing them so well that they won't be as significant as they are now.

They were very encouraging in their belief that we are doing everything right for him right now. They call all the little things we do modifications. Like making getting ready a game (step 1....step 2.....), or giving him warnings when it's time to shift his focus. We asked about our struggles with discipline and the autism specialist offered to meet with us to talk about that at another time. Today's meeting was really to get the results of their evaluations and make an education plan so we didn't get to do much advice seeking. They were also really impressed with Jonah's preschool teacher. I'm so thankful that we picked that school, especially since she will be his teacher next year too.

I don't have all the reports but from what I do have and from my memory I'll try to run through what they said were his strengths and weaknesses. He scored below average on most of the tests they conducted. It was explained to us though that in a testing situation they cannot use any modifications to help him answer, so it was either he answered or didn't. It doesn't necessarily represent a below average intelligence, only his ability to process and communicate. The psychologist said she had some concern about his information processing ability, but it wasn't clear if there was an actual further problem or if it was some of the other things getting in the way. She said he takes everything very literally and that could be part of the problem. She said he will probably have problems with details such as different shades of different colors. To him it's blue, whether its navy blue or sky blue or periwinkle. That was just the explanation she gave us. We noticed that was true to as we've been teaching him sign language. Josh taught him the alphabet first so when he tried to show him "you" Jonah said no it's this (this sign for the letter u). She said that most of his responses to people were learned, like when he says thank you or your welcome. He knows the right thing to say, but not why. We agree with this.

They observed that he would vebally coach himself through their exchanges. They said his expressive language performance was better than his receptive language abilities. I'm not sure what that means. Also pragmatic language skills are a challenge for him. The speech therapist said that she has no concerns. She said his inflection was exagerrated and hypermelodic but that the quality was within the normal range.

The education plan is redone each year so we only addressed this next year. They feel that he is doing very well in his preschool and don't recommend changing that. He (we) will also have 20 minutes a month of support from one of the special ed preschool teachers. Basically to keep on top of his (and ours) needs. I think that happens at school. He'll also get 10 minutes a month of support from the occupational therapist. We set some goals for the next year. I don't remember now all that we said for those. I know we did say we'd like to work on abstract concepts and conversational skills. Also the finger sucking and belly button rubbing. They said for that we will have to help him learn to replace the behavior with another. I think we're going to try either silly putty or a smooth rock like a worry stone. The speech therapist said if it an oral need that we should try chewing gum or hard candy, which I'm sure you all know how I feel about that, I hate gum. There were more things too. They said they were good goals, and the autism specialist said they were big and that we could be working on them for the next few years, but still the right ones to start with.

It's all a little overwhelming to process. We did find out that the support group is really good. The autism specialist said he spoke at it last month and there were 25 families represented. I'm looking forward to that. Well I've been typing for over an hour and Jonah is asking to go outside so that's all for now.

Great weekend

We are all finally feeling much better. I hope I have learned that antibiotics are my best friend and will remember that the next time I suspect a sinus infection. I think I had this one off and on for six weeks. Even though mama doesn't have time to be sick, she will make time in the future. When the doctor started to examine me I was so thrown off, because it's always about the kids.

My Mom and I went to our women's retreat Friday night. I was not 100% better, but felt well enough to go. We got very little sleep, maybe two hours, and not for lack of trying. I was asked to lead a workshop on overcoming fear. I felt like I had to say yes because I felt it was a part of God's plan to continue my growth out of living (or not really living) in fear. But when I woke up Saturday morning, I was certainly not feeling very confidant about it. My sinuses were stuffed again and not being able to breathe normally was escalating my anxiety. With about 45 minutes to go, I asked my friend Becky to pray for me. She prayed right there for God to clear my breathing and to give me peace. I kept trying to blow my nose with little success. I set up the room in the last few minutes and sat down to wait for the women to show up. I had one kleenex left and decided to try one last time. With one easy blow, everything in my sinuses cleared out, everything. I haven't had to blow my nose since, I keep thinking I should and try to, but there's nothing left, after six weeks and at least seven boxes of kleenex. God cared about my stuffy sinuses. The workshop went great. God brought the right mix of women to the circle. Some who shared their stories, some who gave wisdom, some who just needed to listen. I left feeling restored and renewed. It's was good to recount where I've come from and to remember God's faithfulness and experience it anew.

Mama makes it three...

Yep, I decided that we needed to take yet another trip to the doctor. I woke up this morning just knowing I wasn't going to kick this thing without antibiotics. My throat is sore, my ears are full, my nose is still emitting the green stuff. So off we went. My boys sure are troopers. So here's hoping that we'll now be fully healthy within the next few days.

So it was definitely an ear infection for my little Cason. I suppose I should be thankful that we don't get sick very often. One ear infection per year really isn't that bad. I do cherish those oppurtunities to cuddle him. Those times when sleeping on me is the only thing that makes him feel better will be gone eventually. Getting to hold him during the night wasn't so bad and if he wakes again tonight I think I'll happily get out of bed to get some more cuddle time.

Josh is working late today but it's really been a good day. I'm thankful for God's grace today for sure. We all took good naps this afternoon, so nice. Even Mazzy curled up on my lap. Jonah and I did another craft today once he got up. I'm so glad I quit my job and was able to not worry about having to go to work tonight. We just finished a great dinner and are watching the end of Curious George (our new favorite movie). Maybe it's a blessing we're all sick.

Hi Ho Hi Ho It's back to the doctor we go! It's Cason's turn. We were at some friends house for dinner and around 8 o'clock Cason started melting down. We thought okay, it's after their bedtime, he's tired, time to go. He collapsed into his crib to sleep instantly. We stayed up for a little bit and then went to bed, but at 11 he woke up crying, we listen for awhile, the crying gets harder and harder. Josh gets up to get him and to me he sounds hoarse so I go to get some medicine. He didn't want it and it ended up getting sprayed all over Josh's face. I don't think he appreciated my laughing at that. So I settled on the couch with Cason and he quieted but I noticed he was really tugging at his ear. He slept for a while but after an hour started to get restless because sleeping on Mommy can get hot. So back to his crib. He slept for an hour and a half and was crying again at 2:30. We decide we have to get some medicine in him. Josh gets Cason and I get the medicine again. Luckily this time he takes it. I take Cason back to the couch for another hour. The medicine kicks in, he starts babbling happily so I think it's time to go back to the crib. So I finally get to fall asleep at 3:30 or so. We're going to the doctor at ten. Jonah's staying home from school again.

We are the house of sickness. Jonah has an ear infection. I'm pretty sure I have a nasty sinus infection as any time I move there's a spot above my left eye that throbs. That's all I'll say about that because this could turn into an endless rant.

I did want to post this cute picture of Cason. He is being so cute lately. And he's finally starting to pick up new words. Yesterday he said at least five new words. Including buddy, poo poo, Clifford (cuff cord). He's also saying things like "look at that". His new favorite place is sitting on the potty. Yesterday he started pulling out the diapers and Josh said something to him about pee pee and he bolted for the bathroom door and then whined to be let in. He hasn't done anything on the potty yet, but if he loves sitting on it we won't stop him. Here he is this morning after breakfast before his bath:

You know what I love about Spring? That two days of 60-70 degree weather can erase the frustration of Winter. If it were to get cold again (which they say it will this weekend) it's okay, because now I know it won't last long and we won't be trapped in the house for weeks on end anymore.

Josh had to drive up north of Traverse City today so I thought we definitely needed to get out of the house today. After lunch we went to Cold Stone for a treat. They have watermelon sorbet that's so good. I figured out how to eat there without spending a fortune too. A kid's dish is only $1.50 and enough for me and Jonah to share. I hadn't noticed that before and the last time we went as a family two things of ice cream cost us over nine dollars. After Cold Stone we went to Target. That actually went pretty well. Cason was riding on my back and is really into pulling everything off the racks right now, it's crazy. Jonah made a few embarrassing remarks while I was trying some stuff on, but he also was very encouraging too saying "Mommy, you look really good!" Ahh the joys of shopping with little boys! We had a gift card from Nana and Papa still so they each got to pick out a new car. Cason must really adore his big brother because he is firmly obsessed with cars now too. Maybe we'll be a future racing family!?

One month from today we leave for Colorado!

I try to avoid the word rambling when it comes to blogging but I have to admit this post will just be rambly. Sorry.

The weather has been so nice. The ground is muddy but we still managed to get outside and let the boys get some fresh air. Jonah's already been asking if we can go outside again. I think we will this afternoon after the rain clears up a little bit. I can deal with muddy shoes and clothes if it boosts the spirits of my little guys. Everyone slept very good last night!

Hopefully the warmer weather will knock out the germs we've had going around lately too. The boys and I have colds again, started last week so hopefully we'll be better soon. This is the third cold Cason and I have shared in the last 5-6 weeks. I am so tired of blowing my nose! Josh hasn't been sick at all and I'm starting to think it's cause he gets out of this house more than the rest of us.

Yesterday Josh and I worked in Cason's nursery at church for the first time. It was chaotic! You know how I was ranting not too long ago about the doctor saying I should feed Cason more high fat foods because he's so small. Well yesterday was the first time that I actually felt worried about it. Seeing him in a room full of toddlers, most of whom are younger than him, and he being one of the smallest was a little alarming. I don't really think anything is wrong with him, or that there is anything I can do about it, but it is lingering in my mind now. He's really small.

One last thing and I'm done! I quit my job last week. I have to finish out the next two weeks which is always hard, but it will be a relief to be done with that. Josh and I started really looking at what this job was costing us and in the end we realized that we were actually losing money by me working. He wasn't able to work as much as before and we were spending way too much money of food because of it. Life will be a lot more relaxing. No more him walking in the door as I'm walking out, losing half our family time, and not eating meals as a family. I wasn't even using the gym membership that much because it felt like there was never time to go.

The only thing keeping me sane today is that the ten day forecast says it's supposed to be 62 next Tuesday.

This morning we had our meeting with ECSEC. It was very interesting though we didn't get any new information. There were five people there to observe or test Jonah. A child psychologist, autism specialist, one of the ECSEC preschool teachers, speech therapist and an occupational therapist. I think they were all quite charmed by Jonah. We had told him ahead of time that we were going to a school and there would be some nice people who would want to ask him questions. He seemed to be totally comfortable with them. Josh and I were interviewed by the preschool teacher first and then the autism specialist. In all it took 2 1/2 hours. We'll meet again on the 26th to get the results from today.

Now we're all pretty tired from getting up early and talking all morning. We had an early lunch and both the boys are down for naps, hopefully they'll get some good rest. Cason seems to be coming down with another cold.

More snow, boooo! I can't believe how much this winter is holding on. Usually I'm out looking for crocuses and daffadil sprouts by now. We had a thunder storm yesterday, snow storm today, it doesn't make sense.

Jonah slept in until almost 7 this morning, so nice. He's been waking up between 5:15 and 6 for the last two weeks. Josh usually hangs out with him until he leaves for work and then turns a video on for him till I'm up. Today though he woke up in a really good mood and clearly needing some Mommy time. Instead of going out to watch tv he crawled into bed with me for a half hour. After breakfast he asked for his markers and colored for a bit while Cason and I were looking at a book. That was fun, because Cason usually has very little interest in books. He just wants to be constantly moving and exploring. I told Jonah that once I laid Cason down for a nap and we'd do a special craft. It was so much fun to spend some one on one time with him. I usually just tend to let him do his own thing because he's always been really content to play alone. At one point he said, "I really like coloring with you, Mommy". We made two foam animals and colored pictures. I colored a picture of mountains with a pond, sun and flowers. He said it was just like Colorado. Then he said, "You and Daddy live in Colorado and I live in Indiana, but I will move to Colorado with you because I don't want to lose my Mommy and Daddy." It was said in an incredibly cute way, not sad at all. He has always said that Mommy and Daddy live in Colorado for some reason. When he first got his Melissa and Doug United States puzzle, he would point to the different states and say where every one he knows lives. Nama and Pop are in Missouri, Nancy is in Oregon, Meemaw in Arkansas, Mommy and Daddy in Colorado. Even though moving is still over a year away we've been talking to him about it alot because we understand his difficulty with change. The vacation I mentioned is also to see how he reacts to the realization of how far away Colorado really is. He at this point has no resistance to the idea of moving. I asked him today if he knew we would have to live in a different house when we move and he said yeah, like of course we'll live in a different house.



Lions and Tigers!


I thought that the end of February/beginning of March was going to be hard on me, because that's when the baby I lost last summer should've been due, but it's been okay. I feel so blessed right now with my family. Jonah and Cason are such a delight in my life. They are so fun and I love knowing my family is complete and looking forward to the future. Josh and I are completely on the same page with the direction of our family and it's reallly an exciting time for us.

This morning as I was waking up I heard a bird chirping outside. Lately I've been seeing huge flocks of geese flying NORTH. I sure hope these birds know something we don't about the arrival of spring.

In other news, we're going on vacation!! This is our first real family vacation ever! The last time we went on vacation was for our honeymoon seven years ago. Sure, we've travelled a lot between then and now, Josh and I usually take a weekend away once a year and we've made trips for holidays, this is just the first time the four of us are travelling purely for our recreation together. We're going to Colorado the third week in April. I can't wait to see Jonah's reaction to the mountains. He's seen lots of pictures but the real thing is so much more amazing.

Picture fun

So cute!


Playing with Mazzy.


I caught him saying Uh Oh! He's also been doing this really cute shrugging his shoulders thing but I wasn't fast enough to catch that.

Yes, he is still in his jammies. It's just one of those kinds of days. I was all geared up to go out today until I took Mazzy out for the first time. It's cold! I am really, really sick of it being cold. Enough already. Our backyard is a ice rink from all freezing/thawing/ice storm/rain/snow junk that's been going on.

Nothing too newsworthy lately. The boys and I have had a nasty cold. I think we are finally coming out of it. It was a nice weekend, no work for Josh or I so we did pretty much nothing. Cason's been really cute lately. He's saying Uh Oh all the time. Uh Oh where's the car? Uh Oh where's the pup pup? Uh Oh where's Jonah? Only the Uh Oh is intelligible but I can hear the rest. Jonah's been drawing as much as he can. He's quite the little artist. I think we might go out to a craft store and buy some craft kits today. He really loves when we do crafts together and I enjoy it a lot too.

I'm listening to the boys laughing and giggling in their room instead of napping like they are supposed to be. For now they are both happy with whatever game they are playing. I suspect Cason will be the first to tire of it and when that happens I'll go shush Jonah, but for now it's just nice to listen to their happy sounds.

Mazzy's doing really well. She is a good dog, just a little insecure about her place I think and has probably not had anyone to count on before. She's tried to run away twice now. The other night we really thought we were going to lose her. She slipped out the door when Josh was bringing something in and took off. If we give chase she runs even more. There were several times where it looked like she was going to run right into an oncoming car. It made Josh really mad, it made me love her more. I didn't realize I was so attached. She's already learning alot from us though and on the whole you can tell she's a really good dog. Just needs to learn to trust us a little bit more.

Well I'm hearing talk about poop coming from the boys now, so I better go check that out. ETA: No poop, just two boys bouncing around a crib. Jonah's been moved and hopefully they'll both get a good rest.

Hooray! It's supposed to be in the 40's by the end of the week! It's early but I'm going to start looking for the first spring Robin. It feels like it will be a good week. Jonah will have school again, with his special day on Thursday to celebrate his half birthday. Plus plans to meet up with Lisa and Katie sometime this week for lunch. Jonah has turned a corner and things haven't been so hard these last few days. We're all a lot happier. I finally called ECSEC to see what was going on with that and they hadn't received the paperwork I sent in. Rather than making me wait for new paperwork to send in they went ahead and scheduled an appointment for his assessments. It's set for March 5th. They'll have a psychologist, occupational therapist, autism specialist and speech therapist there to assess Jonah. Josh and I both plan on going as she said they would be interviewing us while each specialist takes a turn with Jonah. It should be very interesting and informative.

Valentine's Day and Dr. visit

Josh went into work yesterday morning to find that there wasn't work for the day because of the massive amounts of snow we got so he came home. It was a really good thing for me because I was still feeling really frustrated with Jonah. It wasn't exactly a nice relaxing day as a family but it was nice to all be together. By lunchtime he was feeling the same frustration that I was so we made a cry for help to my parents asking them if they would watch the boys so we could have a date. They agreed (Thank you!!!) and we were able to have several hours alone. It was so nice. We took the truck so it felt like back when we were first dating. It actually had a great impact on my enjoyment, I think, something about not driving the family vehicle with the empty carseats calling out to you. We had a great dinner at a local Italian restaurant we'd never been to before and really enjoyed our time alone. We don't usually do anything for Valentine's Day, we like to rebel against the idea that someone else is telling us to tell eachother how much we love each other on the same day as everyone else in the world. But for some reason these last few weeks of winter boredom have been particularly hard. I've been dreaming over taking a vacation to Mexico so much that Josh gave me the next best thing. Two and a half months of unlimited tanning. I don't really care if I'm tan or stark white but the time alone in a warm and bright tanning bed will do wonders for my mental well-being until summer comes so it was very appreciated.

It was very hard to wake up today and have him go back to work. I got spoiled in one day by having him around. Cason's been having some bad cold symptoms so I decided to take him to the doctor this morning. I should feel lucky that my kids end up not having anything serious but it's so annoying to take the time and spend the money to go only to be told that it's just a cold. And on top of that, since we weren't able to see our regular doctor this doctor felt it was his duty to tell me that I should be fattening Cason up. I know he's little, but that's it, he's just little. He's not skinny or unhealthy. He has nice pudgy legs and a round belly. He's 21 lbs and 4 ounces at almost 20 months so that puts him in like the 2nd percentile. It annoys me that being low on the chart is somehow seen as a bad thing. He doesn't need to be given high fat foods so that he'll get higher on the growth chart. It just means he's smaller than most kids his age, not that he's unhealthy. I suppose it could be an indication of a problem but when the kid is sitting right in front of you, you can see he's not sick. He's starting to talk a little more, still not a lot but some. He has recently joined in on Jonah's obsession with cars, so now it's "Car! Car!" all the time. It's weird how he doesn't talk that much but he will say things like "Where's the car?" It's not real clear though and most people would probably just hear nonsense.

Complaining

I'm losing it! I'm so tired of the cold. I was glad that school got cancelled today, but at the same time I'm so depressed that we're getting more snow. I'm so tired of winter already. Jonah is really having a hard time with obeying right now. He's just so in his own world that I don't think he hears what I'm saying. Then I end up yelling and it finally gets his attention but I feel horrible for yelling. I just can't wait until it's nice out and it doesn't take a half hour of preparations to get out the door.

An addition to the family...

Well Josh and I are pretty well known for some crazy impulsiveness. We were laughing at ourselves during the drive to pick up our latest addition. In all honesty, we've been thinking about this for a while and knew a good oppurtunity when we saw it. So here she is...

A Puggle named Mazzy.









She's nine months old and already pretty well trained. We're all adjusting to her and she's adjusting to us, but it's been great. When we got to the house where she was, the door opened and Jonah said "That's my dog!" He's so excited. He's been saying for awhile that we should get another dog and that it should be a brown dog. When he saw her picture we heard him quietly say "I like this dog better than Miles." It's surprising that he even remembers Miles. Miles was a good dog, just not the right fit for us at that time in our life.