I'm lacking things to blog about lately, so I thought I'd catch up with a picture post.

Jonah on Mother's Day.


Cason and Owen playing peek a boo.


Ready for a bike ride!

Seven year bliss

I'm proud to say Josh and I have proved the somewhat crazy guy who married us wrong! We had a small wedding. Very small. Us, our parents and siblings (minus Steve who was at boot camp). We had come from entirely different backgrounds. Josh from Pennslyvania, me from Indiana. We met in Colorado and our "family" from there was spread from there to Portland to Toronto to Nashville. It would've been quite an process to find a way to include everyone we love, so we decided to keep it simple. The wedding was in Josh's parent's backyard in Kansas City and a minister was found via the yellow pages. We met him the week before and had a good rapport and we liked his short and sweet wedding style. On the day of the actual wedding, somewhere in the middle, he decided to take the oppurtunity to add in a five minute speech about how we were a great couple. It was weird from the start because he really didn't know us from Adam and we didn't care what he thought. To us he was just there to make it legal. Somewhere in his speech he mentioned how seven years down the road we might be having trouble and we would come to him to talk about it. Later on he really creeped out my brother Mark by pulling him aside to tell him that he thought he was really special. I'm thankful to say on our seventh anniversary that we're going strong. There have been ups and downs, joy and tears, anger and forgiveness. I wouldn't have it any other way. I guess if that pastor is still out there somewhere he would be proud.

ETA: I was just reminded by my brother that the creepiness was even better than the pastor just telling him he was special. Apparantly he pulled him aside and said "I just have to tell you that I'm enjoying the hell out of you". Mark's repsonse "umm, thanks".

Jonah's been having a hard time lately. Things haven't been bad, per se, but I can tell he's struggling. He's gone back to lining up his matchbox cars. Every morning he gets up and pulls the same cushion off the couch and lines his cars up in the opening. He hasn't done this in a long time. The book I was reading called it matchbox car art. A way of playing with cars that's not really playing, just making lines, that to him are very important. He's also being more argumentative, only I don't think he means to be. He repeats my warnings back to me. We had to ask him four or five times today if it was good to obey. He kept saying no and laughing. It sounds very frustrating, doesn't it? It's very hard to differenciate between his deliberate disobediance (if it really is deliberate) and a lapse in his understanding of right and wrong. He's not focused. He's mentioned school a couple times, so I'm suspecting it's what's causing his struggles. I have an appointment with their pediatrician for June 9th to talk about his autism. I had made an appointment with her last fall and we didn't make it. We, at first, weren't super concerned with getting a medical diagnosis but are now more interested in what that may offer. We just don't want to waste the gift of knowing early and get five or ten years down the road and wish we had done more when he was younger. It's all still very confusing at times. I still catch myself mentally reminding myself that he has autism every day. He is such an amazing little person. When he laughs you can't help yourself from laughing with him.

I had to get out of the house for a while last night so Josh could work on my super secret birthday plans. He's doing so good not letting even a hint of what he's planning out. I can tell he's stressed about it and wants to ask my opinion but he's determined to keep it a secret. For those who don't know, it is nearly impossible for Josh and I to keep a secret from each other. We consult eachother on every basic decision. When one of us goes to the store, we always end up calling the other ask this or that. When we got married Josh had picked out my wedding ring and was keeping it as a surprise, but a week and a half before the wedding, he caved and showed it to me (I loved it and still do!), so I proceeded to show him my dress. Our first Christmas as a married couple we gave eachother our presents two weeks before Christmas on the day we bought them. We've gotten better over the years, but I can tell these birthday plans are the ultimate test. I have no clue what he's planning, I hope the next two months go by quickly.

So back to me getting out of the house for a while. I decided to go buy a book and settle in at one of our local coffee shops to read. I picked out a book called Eye Contact. The main character is a single mother of a 9 year boy with autism. It's basically a whodunit. The boy and a little girl get lost in the woods behind their school one day and the girl is murdered, so the mom has to try to get her son to communicate to help find out what happened. I like crime solving stories and obviously the autism aspect intrigued me. I haven't read a book in forever so it feels good to read again, but for some reason it's going really slow. Normally I fly through a book, but in the two hours I read last night I only made it to page 68. That seems slow to me. I'm enjoying the story so far.

I made crepes for breakfast today. I made them yesterday for a snack after church and Thursday night for dessert too. Why am I making crepes so much, I don't know. We do love them though. I introduced Jonah and Cason to Nutella crepes with bananas for Jonah, without for Cason. I don't know how you could not like Nutella crepes so of course they were well received.

We made big progress over the weekend on the house. I think we will still make our goal of calling the realtor this week to say we're ready to put the sign up. Just a little more painting upstairs and down. Then just cleaning and organizing, which I'm sure will need to be done over and over again. Josh laid the stone on the fireplace downstairs and it looks great. It feels so great to be getting this done.

Cason's language is exploding. He's asking to sit on the potty a lot, though not doing anything, usually he has just gone in his diaper. But he's saying things like "I sit on the potty." He's also really into his Daddy right now. All day yesterday it was "Hey Daddy!" Then Josh would say "Hey Cason!" "Hey Daddy!" "Hi Cason." "Hey Daddy!" Then he'd put his finger on his lip and say "Umm." Pretty cute. Nothing like Daddy's attention, even if you don't know what else to say.

Well it's Monday so I guess it's a catch up day after the weekend. I've got dishes to do, laundry to finish. Nothing too exciting.

No Tackle it Tuesday for two weeks. Why? Because we've been tackling things non stop. Last night Josh and I finished painting the living room, dining room, hallway and entryway. Let me tell you, it feels good! It's amazing what we just live with. Most of our projects are not super labor intensive, they just take time. We got to feeling like we had all the time in the world to fix up the things about this house that needed fixing. So weeks and years go by and we just live with it. It does make us a little sad to leave this place now that it's really looking nice. On the otherhand it also makes us really excited and proud to sell it and move on.

We took the living room from an "indian tile" red to bone white (or "drifting dune" as it was called). The hallway, entryway and and dining room where all a very plain tan. Now everything is the same bone white and it looks fresh, light and clean. The last room for us to paint is the boys room which has dirty white walls right now. We're either going to do it the same as the living room or a light grey blue.

I have some pictures from the last few days to post but I'll save those for another post.

I had a great Mother's Day. We worked hard on the house all day Saturday and then Josh went out to Target with Jonah. He called me to come join them because he wanted to give me a little shopping spree for some new clothes. We got a few things at Target and then went to Kohls where I got five shirts, a pair of capris and a skort. It was a lot of fun and definitely demonstrated Josh's love for me. I tend to give up easily when clothes shopping. Had he taken the boys home (the easier option for him) I probably would've come home with one shirt. But he wrangled the boys masterfully and picked out things for me to try on and in the end it was a very succesful shopping spree.

Sunday was church all morning. I took the boys to first service so I could hear the message (Josh was playing on the worship team). Then we came home for second and went back for third because I was scheduled to be in nursery. We got home around 1:45, took a brief rest and got ready to go for a family picnic at Potato Creek State Park. We took our bikes which was so much fun. This is the first year that Jonah is riding well and right now he wants to ride all the time. Our ride at the park was stop and go. Not having a clear end point was hard for Jonah. My dad, Josh and I encouraged him along for awhile until it became clear he wasn't going any further. We asked if he wanted to go back to our "camp" and he was fine going back. Our spot was off of a oval shaped parking lot with an island in the center. I think he spent 75% of the time riding around and around the island. It was a great day and I feel very blessed to be a mother and to be married to someone who really appreciates what I do.

We've been painting like crazy yesterday and today. The hallway is done, the living room is 80% done! The windows outside are done and the garage is almost done. Once we finish up those things then we can work more on the basement. We're hoping to be able to call the realtor by next week to say we're ready to put the sign up.

Today was Jonah's last day of school. I'm so thankful that this experience has been so positive for all of us. Jonah has come so far since the beginning of the school year. I have a feeling we'll be around for him to atleast the school year there in the fall.

I don't know what I meant with that last post. I'm still trying to figure it out. Josh asked me about it and I said that I was feeling really frustrated with only having the energy to the same things everyday. Wash dishes, do laundry, make three meals, dress the kids (well one kid, Jonah takes care of himself, which is why you might see him in the same outfit three days in a row), take Jonah to school, go to Target or Wal-mart (the only two places I'm relatively sure I can handle with two kids, sometimes even that's crazy), make sure nobody gets hurts or hurts someone, you know, mommy stuff. If I add anything to doing those things it feels overwhelming. My kids are not bound by an invisible tether to me, a trip to the park is exhausting because they could both be a mile away in a matter of minutes. But I want to take them.

That being sad, I mowed the lawn yesterday out of that frustration and it felt good. I mowed the lawn all last summer, so it's not new, I just needed to do something physical instead of getting myself some pity-party ice cream from Dairy Queen. Josh and I did a bunch of painting last night too. I slept really good last night. Anyway, I think that's where the giving myself grace thing comes in. Right now might be the time that I do the same things day after day and sometimes it'll start to feel really bad, boring, mundane, I don't know. I just need to keep remembering that this is a blessed time in my life to be home with these two boys and life will keep changing and pretty soon I won't have these long days to spend with them.

Cason's teething and is mad at the world for it. I sure hope we don't have months upon months of this. Two year molars. I can't believe he'll be two next month. He has so much personality. I'm working on teaching him to say Mama, please instead of uh uh uh and pointing. He gets the mama part sometimes. Yesterday we were walking through Target and out of nowhere he points towards the snack bar and say "popcorn". That's a new one and we were pretty far away for him to know there was popcorn there.

Not Type A

If you know me, you know I definitely don't have a type A personality. I'm a last born. I wait till the last minute to get things done. I get distracted easily. Dare I say, sometimes I'm down right lazy.

I'm okay with this to an extent. I don't feel the drive to become type A, but I am wondering is there is some happy medium. I'm tired of getting to the end of the day and thinking I wish I would've gotten this or that done today.

Is there a happy balance in this time of having little ones around? I've been advised to give myself a lot of grace. All moms of young children need to do this. It's a hard time, our hormones are wacky most of the time. We love our children but they can be unpredictable AND they are constantly changing. Once we finally figure out one stage they change and it starts again. It's exhausting.

Sometimes that anxious me is still around. It's a beautiful day and I know the boys and I would enjoy going for a walk, but I just can't seem to get us out the door. I don't like living like that.

So what do I do? How do I find that internal motivation to follow through on my thoughts?

Not every day is like this, that's what's frustrating. Some days, I'm so productive.

So again, where's the balance between giving myself grace to not worry about always doing and actually getting stuff done, putting myself out there?

Okay this is my last post today. Although I can't promise on that because there's still 10 hours to the day left and if something really huge happened I'd probably want to blog about it, but if I promise no more posts then I couldn't so I'm not going to promise this will be the last. I'll just say most likely this is my last post today, I think four in one day is enough (unless something big happens :).

I had to write one more post because somebody took my baby and replaced him with a little boy. It's been happening for a while now but over the weekend it became undeniable.

Check these out...





No more long baby locks. I think he looks more like his daddy now.

And to seal the deal he went pee on the potty today. He loves the potty. I know he's not ready to potty train, I'm not ready for him to potty train, but he loves the potty, so we'll let him sit on it from time to time. Today he actually went and then whined to get down. Wow! I do look forward to seeing the difference between potty training him to how it was with Jonah.

In case you didn't notice, this is my third post today, be sure to check out the other two below.

So there was something else cool that happened this weekend. Josh and I are preparing our house to sell. One of the things we needed to take care of was staging our living room a little better. We've had this huge sectional sofa since we lived in Wichita and have decided it's time to let it go. We tried selling it on Saturday but had no offers we felt good about taking so it's still here. We have some friends who expressed some interest so we're not to worried about it, but didn't want to haul the whole thing back into the living room. So the main sofa part came back in and the rest went to the garage. We decided we wanted to buy a new sofa/oversized chair combo and headed to Mishawaka yesterday to look at what we could find. We really didn't want to spend very much so we were looking for a deal.

I'll pause here to say, it's really cool when God shows up during the most basic of life experiences. Because on our way back home we could not deny that God was very involved in what we experienced while sofa shopping.

We started out at Sofa Mart. Furniture Row. We've spent the last five years avoiding Furniture Row. Josh gets a pit in his stomach when we drive by Furniture Row. When he quit working at Denver Mattress it's started a chain of events that led us back here and left us with a lot of questions on whether it was the right thing to do. He made good money at Denver Mattress, but it was also sucking the life out of us. No church, no friends, that was the year I ended up with severe anxiety and could barely go out of the house.

Anyway, they were having a tent sale. We found a couple options but just weren't completely sure. We did buy a t.v. stand at a great price, but decided to look at Value City for more sofa options. Throughout the time there, we kept smiling at each other. As we were paying for the t.v. stand I mouthed to Josh that I was so glad he wasn't still doing that. There were about 8 salesmen clumped around the desk talking in little groups. Over half were overweight and they were all pastie white. They're life is stuck inside the walls of that building. Nothing has changed since Josh was doing that. I became convinced that God was showing us what he had saved us from. I have little doubt that life would be very different for us right had we stayed on that path. Most likely we wouldn't even be together anymore. Maybe our act of desperation to get out of there, quitting and moving to Indy in the same day, no job to go to, was God protecting us from a future filled with pain.

That wasn't it though. We went to Value City and again are reminded what a life in sales looks like when someone called out "Who's up" followed by a skinny man in a tobacco stained suit chasing us down the aisle. We found a sofa/chair combo we were interested in but it was a little more than we wanted to spend. We talked about it for a long time and almost rushed into a decision that would've been motivated by the kids (who were very tired and cranky by this point) and by the feeling that we had to get something now. God protected us again because they refused to come down on the price so we walked out. Five minutes down the road we were breathing a sigh of relief. We had almost made a bad decision. Once out of the store we were able to think more clearly. We realized we really didn't want to buy new furniture that we'll have to move in a couple months (most likely a couple times). Then we did some more furniture rearranging and realized our living room looks really good with just a sofa in it. We may still look for a sofa, but one that God presents to us. We decided the sectional can go in the basement when that happens.

So many thanks to God. Thank God the sectional didn't sell at the garage sale because then we would've had to buy something. Thank God for showing us how he protected us all those years ago when Josh quit working at Denver Mattress. Thank God for being involved in every little detail. Not incidently we feel like this is a sign that God is behind us moving to Colorado and is wanting us to be wise and successful throughout the process of getting there.

Garage sale stories

Be sure to check out my other post from today below.

We had a great garage sale! I should note that my family has fine tuned the art of garage saling. It's all about pricing, placement and advertising. Between us, my parents and Mark and Lorrie we made over 1500 dollars in two days. This year was a personal best for Josh and I. I still can't belive everything went as smoothly as it did. It really was crazy how much junk there was to sell. In the end we only had two truck loads to go to goodwill. We probably could've sold every last thing, but we just got tired of being out there.

Some funny stories in brief....

I sold an older businessman coffee out of my pantry when he didn't want to buy the coffee pods my dad had out for sale.

We had a lady complain about paying 50 cents for some throw pillows because they needed to be washed. She bought them anyway...but throughout the rest of the day we ended up putting all the rest of the pillows in a free box.

A little girl had to go to the bathroom so they asked if she could use our bathroom. Ummm, okay...but then the mom told her to go in and do stinkies! The mom didn't want to put out her cigarette so a male friend brought her in and called her turd bird atleast 8 times on the way in and out. Mark and I came in to keep it kosher and they were in and out so fast I don't think she actually did anything.

The first day a lady bought the Little People zoo from me, it had a bag attached with some of the animals, not all, because some have been lost since we've had it. The next day she actually made the effort to come back to ask if we had the elephant. I ended up giving her the zoo train because we were nearly done and it was just gonna end up at Goodwill anyway.

All in all, it was a great time. Lots of work, but worth it to clean out some of the junk we've been holding on to.

Jonah, Ethan and Owen enjoying some ice cream after dinner Friday night.

Oh my goodness! I have so much to blog about it's crazy.

I'm gonna start with posting this banner for the Mother's Day giveaways that 5 Minutes for Mom are doing. So far they've got contests for a new ipod Nano, a Mei Tai baby carrier (if I were having another baby I would love this), and a book, Hannah Keeley's Total Mom Makeover book. There should be more over the next week!

It's been a crazy busy week. Between trying to get some of the projects done around the house and getting ready for a garage sale I haven't had any time to blog. But I have taken quite a few cute pictures over the last few days so I'm stopping to put some of those up.

I'm feeling sad. We got Jonah's preschool schedule for May today. There's only four more days of school left. One next week, two the next and one the week after that. Then they do an all school picnic and that's it. This school has been such a wonderful thing for Jonah. He has made so much progress since the beginning of the year. I know he'll miss going too. My one goal that I hoped he'd meet before the end of the year happened today. I hoped that by the end of the year he would go potty at school. A small thing, but a big deal for him. He was so resistant to potty training and then last spring he just got it. But for a long time he was completely dependent on having his potty seat and did not like going in unfamiliar places. At school they have potty time every day, but with ten kids in one bathroom, toilets flushing, kids talking, singing, washing hands, I think it was too much for him, so he wouldn't even try. A couple weeks ago he decided he was ready to go standing up and it's been great, he goes everywhere now. Sooooo...today we get home from school and I ask him to go potty and he says, "I don't need to, I went at school." Wooo hooo!

He's signed up to go to the same school next year, same teacher, some of the same kids. But we may not be here. It makes me a little sad. I know God can provide another school so I'll just have have faith in that.

Tackle it Tuesday

Well last week we were on vacation so no Tackle it Tuesday. Unless you consider the amount of food I ate at Cinzetti's. It took a lot of work to tackle that buffet, especially the dessert bar. I digress. So this morning I remember it's Tuesday and maybe I should find something to tackle. I really enjoyed doing it two weeks ago and would like to continue.

But....

I didn't really have one thing in particular today that I wanted to tackle. I did laundry, washed dishes, chauffered Jonah to school, ran errands, made cookies and french onion soup for dinner, normal everyday stuff, not just Tuesday stuff. And you know what? At the end of the day, I have a smile on my face from the satisfaction of doing just those normal things.

Jonah had a great day! He was so excited to go back to school. He was really good at telling me all day about the things he was thinking about. Started conversations with me. Played with Cason. At one point they were sitting on a little bench together and Jonah had his arm around Cason, so sweet. He had his first occupational therapy session today while at school. She sent home useful information and said she really enjoys working with Jonah. I'm sad there's only one more month of school left, I'm not sure yet what we do during the summer.

Cason's recently started lifting his arms to be picked up. I know almost two years old is probably late for starting this behavior but I love it. Jonah never lifted his arms to be picked up. When I worry about the possiblility of Cason having autism too, the one thing that brings me comfort is how he comes to us for help. Jonah will always, and has always, just figured out a way to do it on his own. A good trait, but also a piece to the puzzle that is autism.

Post vacation blues!!! After nine days of family time we are back to the grind. Josh went back to work today so I guess that means I did too. I have a full sink of dishes to do (after a week of very minimal dish care), two suitcases to unpack, two laundry baskets of clothes to put away. Jonah is adjusting slowly to being home and life going back to normal. It's similar to the start of last week, more resistance and demands. In his defense Mommy and Daddy have been a little crabby about being back too so he's probably just reflecting our attitudes.

It looks like this family will be heading west again before the end of the year though. We have always wanted to move back to Colorado and this trip just confirmed that desire. We came home and immediately started making moves to make that happen. In two weeks we're having a monstrous garage sale. It will include my parents and my brother's family who are also moving (to Colorado too!). We're also working towards getting the house ready to sell. We have probably a half a dozen projects to work on for that. I think there will be no shortage of activity around here.

More pictures from today...hopefully no one is getting tired of pictures of us with rocks and water. After a time of resting this afternoon we headed back up to spend some more time in Ft. Collins. These pictures are at the Horsetooth Reservoir. It was so beautiful. We are reallly sad to be leaving tomorrow. We're heading to Josh's parents house in Kansas City and will be home Saturday.

Cute Jonah


Jonah had no sense of how high up we were and was totally fearless (scared this mama!). Cason was hypersensitive to how high we were and held on super tight, but loved being able to walk over the rocks with some help.

This morning we went out to Estes Park with the intention of going into Rocky Mountain National Park. Call us stingy but when we saw the $20 entrance fee we decided to turn around. Half the park isn't even open yet and we were only planning to do a minimum of hiking. We did have fun walking around the shops at Estes Park, having a picnic by a lake and driving through the surrounding area. On the way back down to Loveland we stopped by the side of the road and scrambled down some rocks to the Big Thompson river. Jonah's got a knack for bouldering and Cason was ready to jump in the water.



alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5054872024903306946" />

I think I'll let the pictures do most of the talking for today. We were a little worried about the weather as the day started out heavily overcast and rainy, but by noon the sun was shining and the sky was brillant Colorado blue. We had a wonderful time in Colorado Springs and visited many of our old favorite places. We stopped by the house Josh lived in for most of his time in Colorado. The lady who owned it was home and we visited with her for a while. Lunch at La Baguette was everything that I remembered it to be. We stopped by Glen Eyrie. That one left us a little sad. It's exactly the same and completely different. We have so many memories of that place. We hiked around Garden of the Gods. Jonah loved that and thought it was fun to draw in the red sand. We drove up to Helen Hunt Falls but the boys fell asleep on the way so we just jumped out for a couple quick pictures. My favorite hike is on the way up and I really wished we were able to go up...maybe next time. Then we ended up driving down town and stopped at a little outdoors shop to get some new sandals for me and crocs for Josh. Finally we headed back north but made one last stop north of Denver for dinner at Cinzetti's.

Cute Cason


Glen Eyrie


My boys in front of Garden of the Gods and Pike's Peak.




At Garden of the Gods.




Helen Hunt Falls.


Tomorrow we're going to Rocky Mountain National Park.

What a great long day it's been! We started the day out in Boulder. On the way I took some pictures out the window. I love our new camera! I got a decent shot of Long's Peak.


We found a children's play area along the Pearl St walking mall and let Jonah romp for a while. There was another boy and his brother playing and Jonah made a new friend. He went right up and asked the boy what his name was and then introduced himself. "I'm Jonah, I'm four." he said probably seven times. Then he gestured at us (see picture below) and said "These are my grown-ups." We're still laughing about that. We were reminded of one of the reasons we love Colorado so much, everyone is so friendly. People look each other in the eye and say hello, ask how you're doing, send you off with a smile.



Jonah loved jumping from boulder to boulder.



After Boulder we drove up to Ft. Collins. We stopped first at Beau Jo's for lunch. Yummy! The we headed over to the New Belgium Brewing Co. for a tour. They make Josh's favorite micro brew, Fat Tire. It was very interesting to learn more about the company's history. They are very eco-friendly and have gotten to the point where they make all their own power, either by wind or recycling waste products from the brewing process. They also only send 1% of their waste per year to a land fill. On top of that they have incredible employee benefits. Josh definitely walked out of there wanting a job.

After that we drove around for a while before getting dinner. Now we're ready to relax for the evening before heading to Colorado Springs tomorrow. Thank you to those praying for Jonah. He seems to be relaxing a little. We are so proud of our boys.

This is the view from the master bedroom. We woke up early this morning, not used to the time change yet. One not so pleasant surprise upon our arrival was that the master bedroom has a water bed. It also seems to be low on water, not so comfortable. In the living room there is a day bed with trundle so I think that's where we'll be sleeping for the rest of our time here. It's so weird feeling like your in someone else's house.

We would like to ask for your prayers for us and Jonah. He is very out of sorts with all the new things he's experiencing. This means he's being pretty rigid and when he's frustrated he's speaking in nonsense language. Pray that Josh and I will have patience beyond measure and that Jonah will remember that he's safe with us. I think some of it is coming from his over-excitement from being here. He was so cute with his first glimpse of the mountains. His face lit up with huge eyes and a big grin.

Mark, I'll have more mountain pictures tonight.

We're here! We're all exhausted and need a good nights sleep. The trip took a little longer than expected, but that's always the case right? We ended up stopping last night and getting a hotel room last night, which was a good thing because Cason doesn't sleep in the car well.

One cute thing from yesterday. We stopped for dinner at a Jimmy John's that was in a gas station. There was a lady mopping so there were wet floor cones out. Jonah kinda picked one up and moved it a bit so the lady came over to tease him about it. She said he could mop and to come with her and his reply? "No. I think I should stay here with my family." What a smart boy!

We had to get a new camera on the way as our old one died yesterday, so no pictures yet, hopefully tomorrow.

Josh and I are off to watch some t.v. and eat Ben and Jerry's!

The things they say.

Lately Jonah has been starting all of his sentences with "well". "Well, I don't think I can do that." "Well, I'm riding a doggy." (At the carousel in Shipshewana.) "Well, we had fun at the toy store this morning." He speaks in very matter of fact tones and with a low voice. Most of the time it's very cute.

Cason has started calling Mazzy "Cuffcord", as in Clifford the big red dog. The other night he got excited to see her and was saying pup pup over and over, when it suddenly switched to Cuffcord. Now it's always Cuffcord, even though we keep telling him she's Mazzy. I'm pretty impressed that in his limited knowledge of dogs he was able to connect a cartoon and stuffed animal to his real live doggy.

Tomorrow we head to Colorado!

Field Trip

Today Jonah's class took a field trip to the fire station. Jonah's already gotten his own private tour of Mr. Trevor's fire house, but I think today's trip brought it's own fun and other new things. I'm now convinced that it's really hard to get good pictures inside the fire station, too many reflective surfaces and really poor lighting. I did my best...

Jonah got to try on the neck brace in the ambulance.


They checked the heart rates of several of the kids.


Jonah's friend ZuZu was put on the gurney and loaded up. Her mom wasn't so sure she liked seeing her on that gurney.


I guess he's a natural at driving stick shift!


The whole class on the back of one of the engines.

Can I just go to sleep until Friday? This can't be April!

Wordless Wednesday

My first Tackle It Tuesday!

Over at 5 Minutes for Mom they do Tackle It Tuesday. It's a day to tackle a project that's been hanging over your head, be it cleaning, crafty or otherwise. Isn't it funny how something that could be a chore becomes fun when you get to post before and after pictures on your blog? So here goes something! My main thing needing tackling is the boys playroom. In my defense this room can get this bad in under five minutes, I've just been putting off cleaning it up.

I give you exhibit A:


I also have plans for my refrigerator. I threw away all the old, expired and possibly moldy food yesterday, so today I can organize what's left, clean the shelves and get it vacation ready. Isn't it so much nicer to come home to a clean kitchen?



In addtion to these two things, I need to clean out the van and get the oil changed. School was cancelled today because of fog that's already gone, so it'll be nice to have something to get out for.

After pictures later on today!

AFTER!!


I had a little help.



It's pretty empty, huh. We've got a lot of cheese though. I'm gonna have to think of cheese recipes for the next few days. I'm not buying anything else before our trip.

We've also been out and had the oil changed and did some shopping at Target. Jonah was very worried about what they were doing to our van and made sure to tell everyone that they couldn't drive it. Then as we left and were talking about going to Target he said something that boiled down to "Target will be much more fun than getting an oil change". His language was a little off but I thought it was funny that he articulated the stress he felt about the oil change.

Autism support group

We went to the local autism support group for the first time last night. I really don't have much to say about it though. It was interesting and we did get some info on other resources to look into too. Most of the parents had high school age children. It seemed like their kids had been diagnosed later and maybe they had more issues because of that. When we introduced ourselves they all agreed that it was great that we had an early diagnosis and could start getting support right away. There wasn't much time to just talk with the other parents. Next month is going to be more informal, allowing for conversations so we'll go back then. The subject of discipline did come up briefly and it seems that it's still an issue even when the child is older. We didn't get to ask specifically what people did when their children were younger.

The autism specialist from ECSEC had offered to meet with us so I'm planning on calling today to set something up. Things have been tough around here lately. I think that's mostly coming from Josh and I processing how we feel about all of this. We're not always on the same page.

Five days till we leave for Colorado! The weather forecast says it's supposed to rain while we're there. What are the chances? I'm holding out hope that it'll be wrong and we'll get to experience some glorious Colorado sunshine.

Faith Lifts

Check out a new addition to my blog on the right. I recently found an online community of blogs for Christian women. Faith Lifts also connects you to 5minutesformom.com which so far has proved to be an encouraging, interesting read for me (plus they give stuff away sometimes).

I've been getting a lot of cuddle time with Cason these last few days. I know what you're thinking. Uh oh, he must be sick. Yep, you're right. I haven't felt the need to take him back to the doctor, but I won't be surprised if there is a lingering ear infection when we go on Monday for a recheck. He's just had a fever off and on.

The other night as Josh and I were heading to bed we heard Jonah talking in his sleep. He does this sometimes but most of the time it's pretty incoherent. This time we heard some whining, so we stopped to listen at their door. Next we hear "No Cason! It's mine!" We go in to check on them and Jonah's sound asleep. It's sad that it's hard for him to share in his dreams too. He actually does okay with Cason 50% on the time.

I'm thankful it's Friday! Only one more week until we go to Colorado! Things have been a little frustrating lately. Jonah's been very argumentative and bossy lately. Last night he was telling Josh and I what we could or couldn't eat at dinner. This morning he woke us up at 5:45.

It's been a while since I posted any pictures so here's a picture post.

Cason and I, taken by Jonah.


You know those cupcakes at the store that are half cake/half frosting and the frosting is so heavy that they practically fall over if they're not in the container they were sold in? I bought some of those yesterday as a treat. I think they were thoroughly enjoyed.

A new week begins. Can I stay healthy this week? Stay tuned. . .

Cason's had really goopy eyes the last few days so he's getting antibiotic eye drops. Luckily I didn't have to take him into the doctor, I was very thankful for that. We had to take Mazzy to the vet today and two office visits in one day would have put me over the edge. Mazzy's going on antibiotics now too. She actually impressed me while at the vet with her good behavior. That and seeing how much Jonah loves her restores my resolve to keep her around. She is starting to show more respect for our commands so that gives me hope too.

I'm learning to trust God through these last few weeks. A couple months ago everything was going our way and we were giving thanks to God for His care. These last few weeks though have been pretty taxing. To much illness and the inconsistency of working in the construction field have left us wanting. I struggle with thinking that God is cursing us. But then I remember that God doesn't work that way. If life is hard right now it doesn't mean that God isn't loving me anymore. It's just life. If there is one thing God has proven to be it's faithful. We've had many ups and downs over the last seven years and God has never let us go hungry. So I'm going to remember that each morning and trust God's plan for us.

It's been a long week. I've been having some ahem issues from my antibiotic, so it's been another week of feeling off. I'm now trying to consume my body weight in yogurt to try and correct said issues. On top of that Mazzy is having same said issues and we are beside ourselves with what to do. We've resorted to giving her pepto-bismal. Hopefully her issues will clear up soon too, as we have little interest in spending money at the vet on her. I know we probably have no business being pet owners but here were are now making the best of it. I will call the vet Monday if she's still not functioning better.

I realized something about myself just now. I really don't like chaos. The problem with that is that I also don't care much for order. Lurking somewhere in the middle really doesn't work though. I'm gonna have to do something about that I think.

We got Jonah's IEP (individualized education plan) in the mail yesterday. I'm very happy that this experience has been good so far. Josh and I were agreeing last night that everyone we worked with seemed genuinely interested and focused on Jonah. No feeling like we were just another kid (family) coming through the system. The special ed preschool teacher who will providing his support called yesterday to get our email address so she could foward the information for the support group. The next meeting is April 9th. The speaker will be talking on relationships and dynamics in families with a child on the autism spectrum. I'm looking forward to that.

We had our conference with the experts from ECSEC today. I'll just come out and say the bottom line, which is that they believe he actually fits a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism more than he does Asperger's. The basic reasoning for this is that there is more diagnostic criteria for HFA than Asperger's. He meets all the criteria for both and since there is more criteria for HFA that tips the scale in it's favor. They said as he grows up it may end up looking more like Asperger's. I think that is because there is maybe the possibility of outgrowing some of the autistic tendencies. Or at least he has the chance of self managing them so well that they won't be as significant as they are now.

They were very encouraging in their belief that we are doing everything right for him right now. They call all the little things we do modifications. Like making getting ready a game (step 1....step 2.....), or giving him warnings when it's time to shift his focus. We asked about our struggles with discipline and the autism specialist offered to meet with us to talk about that at another time. Today's meeting was really to get the results of their evaluations and make an education plan so we didn't get to do much advice seeking. They were also really impressed with Jonah's preschool teacher. I'm so thankful that we picked that school, especially since she will be his teacher next year too.

I don't have all the reports but from what I do have and from my memory I'll try to run through what they said were his strengths and weaknesses. He scored below average on most of the tests they conducted. It was explained to us though that in a testing situation they cannot use any modifications to help him answer, so it was either he answered or didn't. It doesn't necessarily represent a below average intelligence, only his ability to process and communicate. The psychologist said she had some concern about his information processing ability, but it wasn't clear if there was an actual further problem or if it was some of the other things getting in the way. She said he takes everything very literally and that could be part of the problem. She said he will probably have problems with details such as different shades of different colors. To him it's blue, whether its navy blue or sky blue or periwinkle. That was just the explanation she gave us. We noticed that was true to as we've been teaching him sign language. Josh taught him the alphabet first so when he tried to show him "you" Jonah said no it's this (this sign for the letter u). She said that most of his responses to people were learned, like when he says thank you or your welcome. He knows the right thing to say, but not why. We agree with this.

They observed that he would vebally coach himself through their exchanges. They said his expressive language performance was better than his receptive language abilities. I'm not sure what that means. Also pragmatic language skills are a challenge for him. The speech therapist said that she has no concerns. She said his inflection was exagerrated and hypermelodic but that the quality was within the normal range.

The education plan is redone each year so we only addressed this next year. They feel that he is doing very well in his preschool and don't recommend changing that. He (we) will also have 20 minutes a month of support from one of the special ed preschool teachers. Basically to keep on top of his (and ours) needs. I think that happens at school. He'll also get 10 minutes a month of support from the occupational therapist. We set some goals for the next year. I don't remember now all that we said for those. I know we did say we'd like to work on abstract concepts and conversational skills. Also the finger sucking and belly button rubbing. They said for that we will have to help him learn to replace the behavior with another. I think we're going to try either silly putty or a smooth rock like a worry stone. The speech therapist said if it an oral need that we should try chewing gum or hard candy, which I'm sure you all know how I feel about that, I hate gum. There were more things too. They said they were good goals, and the autism specialist said they were big and that we could be working on them for the next few years, but still the right ones to start with.

It's all a little overwhelming to process. We did find out that the support group is really good. The autism specialist said he spoke at it last month and there were 25 families represented. I'm looking forward to that. Well I've been typing for over an hour and Jonah is asking to go outside so that's all for now.

Great weekend

We are all finally feeling much better. I hope I have learned that antibiotics are my best friend and will remember that the next time I suspect a sinus infection. I think I had this one off and on for six weeks. Even though mama doesn't have time to be sick, she will make time in the future. When the doctor started to examine me I was so thrown off, because it's always about the kids.

My Mom and I went to our women's retreat Friday night. I was not 100% better, but felt well enough to go. We got very little sleep, maybe two hours, and not for lack of trying. I was asked to lead a workshop on overcoming fear. I felt like I had to say yes because I felt it was a part of God's plan to continue my growth out of living (or not really living) in fear. But when I woke up Saturday morning, I was certainly not feeling very confidant about it. My sinuses were stuffed again and not being able to breathe normally was escalating my anxiety. With about 45 minutes to go, I asked my friend Becky to pray for me. She prayed right there for God to clear my breathing and to give me peace. I kept trying to blow my nose with little success. I set up the room in the last few minutes and sat down to wait for the women to show up. I had one kleenex left and decided to try one last time. With one easy blow, everything in my sinuses cleared out, everything. I haven't had to blow my nose since, I keep thinking I should and try to, but there's nothing left, after six weeks and at least seven boxes of kleenex. God cared about my stuffy sinuses. The workshop went great. God brought the right mix of women to the circle. Some who shared their stories, some who gave wisdom, some who just needed to listen. I left feeling restored and renewed. It's was good to recount where I've come from and to remember God's faithfulness and experience it anew.

Mama makes it three...

Yep, I decided that we needed to take yet another trip to the doctor. I woke up this morning just knowing I wasn't going to kick this thing without antibiotics. My throat is sore, my ears are full, my nose is still emitting the green stuff. So off we went. My boys sure are troopers. So here's hoping that we'll now be fully healthy within the next few days.

So it was definitely an ear infection for my little Cason. I suppose I should be thankful that we don't get sick very often. One ear infection per year really isn't that bad. I do cherish those oppurtunities to cuddle him. Those times when sleeping on me is the only thing that makes him feel better will be gone eventually. Getting to hold him during the night wasn't so bad and if he wakes again tonight I think I'll happily get out of bed to get some more cuddle time.

Josh is working late today but it's really been a good day. I'm thankful for God's grace today for sure. We all took good naps this afternoon, so nice. Even Mazzy curled up on my lap. Jonah and I did another craft today once he got up. I'm so glad I quit my job and was able to not worry about having to go to work tonight. We just finished a great dinner and are watching the end of Curious George (our new favorite movie). Maybe it's a blessing we're all sick.

Hi Ho Hi Ho It's back to the doctor we go! It's Cason's turn. We were at some friends house for dinner and around 8 o'clock Cason started melting down. We thought okay, it's after their bedtime, he's tired, time to go. He collapsed into his crib to sleep instantly. We stayed up for a little bit and then went to bed, but at 11 he woke up crying, we listen for awhile, the crying gets harder and harder. Josh gets up to get him and to me he sounds hoarse so I go to get some medicine. He didn't want it and it ended up getting sprayed all over Josh's face. I don't think he appreciated my laughing at that. So I settled on the couch with Cason and he quieted but I noticed he was really tugging at his ear. He slept for a while but after an hour started to get restless because sleeping on Mommy can get hot. So back to his crib. He slept for an hour and a half and was crying again at 2:30. We decide we have to get some medicine in him. Josh gets Cason and I get the medicine again. Luckily this time he takes it. I take Cason back to the couch for another hour. The medicine kicks in, he starts babbling happily so I think it's time to go back to the crib. So I finally get to fall asleep at 3:30 or so. We're going to the doctor at ten. Jonah's staying home from school again.

We are the house of sickness. Jonah has an ear infection. I'm pretty sure I have a nasty sinus infection as any time I move there's a spot above my left eye that throbs. That's all I'll say about that because this could turn into an endless rant.

I did want to post this cute picture of Cason. He is being so cute lately. And he's finally starting to pick up new words. Yesterday he said at least five new words. Including buddy, poo poo, Clifford (cuff cord). He's also saying things like "look at that". His new favorite place is sitting on the potty. Yesterday he started pulling out the diapers and Josh said something to him about pee pee and he bolted for the bathroom door and then whined to be let in. He hasn't done anything on the potty yet, but if he loves sitting on it we won't stop him. Here he is this morning after breakfast before his bath:

You know what I love about Spring? That two days of 60-70 degree weather can erase the frustration of Winter. If it were to get cold again (which they say it will this weekend) it's okay, because now I know it won't last long and we won't be trapped in the house for weeks on end anymore.

Josh had to drive up north of Traverse City today so I thought we definitely needed to get out of the house today. After lunch we went to Cold Stone for a treat. They have watermelon sorbet that's so good. I figured out how to eat there without spending a fortune too. A kid's dish is only $1.50 and enough for me and Jonah to share. I hadn't noticed that before and the last time we went as a family two things of ice cream cost us over nine dollars. After Cold Stone we went to Target. That actually went pretty well. Cason was riding on my back and is really into pulling everything off the racks right now, it's crazy. Jonah made a few embarrassing remarks while I was trying some stuff on, but he also was very encouraging too saying "Mommy, you look really good!" Ahh the joys of shopping with little boys! We had a gift card from Nana and Papa still so they each got to pick out a new car. Cason must really adore his big brother because he is firmly obsessed with cars now too. Maybe we'll be a future racing family!?

One month from today we leave for Colorado!

I try to avoid the word rambling when it comes to blogging but I have to admit this post will just be rambly. Sorry.

The weather has been so nice. The ground is muddy but we still managed to get outside and let the boys get some fresh air. Jonah's already been asking if we can go outside again. I think we will this afternoon after the rain clears up a little bit. I can deal with muddy shoes and clothes if it boosts the spirits of my little guys. Everyone slept very good last night!

Hopefully the warmer weather will knock out the germs we've had going around lately too. The boys and I have colds again, started last week so hopefully we'll be better soon. This is the third cold Cason and I have shared in the last 5-6 weeks. I am so tired of blowing my nose! Josh hasn't been sick at all and I'm starting to think it's cause he gets out of this house more than the rest of us.

Yesterday Josh and I worked in Cason's nursery at church for the first time. It was chaotic! You know how I was ranting not too long ago about the doctor saying I should feed Cason more high fat foods because he's so small. Well yesterday was the first time that I actually felt worried about it. Seeing him in a room full of toddlers, most of whom are younger than him, and he being one of the smallest was a little alarming. I don't really think anything is wrong with him, or that there is anything I can do about it, but it is lingering in my mind now. He's really small.

One last thing and I'm done! I quit my job last week. I have to finish out the next two weeks which is always hard, but it will be a relief to be done with that. Josh and I started really looking at what this job was costing us and in the end we realized that we were actually losing money by me working. He wasn't able to work as much as before and we were spending way too much money of food because of it. Life will be a lot more relaxing. No more him walking in the door as I'm walking out, losing half our family time, and not eating meals as a family. I wasn't even using the gym membership that much because it felt like there was never time to go.

The only thing keeping me sane today is that the ten day forecast says it's supposed to be 62 next Tuesday.

This morning we had our meeting with ECSEC. It was very interesting though we didn't get any new information. There were five people there to observe or test Jonah. A child psychologist, autism specialist, one of the ECSEC preschool teachers, speech therapist and an occupational therapist. I think they were all quite charmed by Jonah. We had told him ahead of time that we were going to a school and there would be some nice people who would want to ask him questions. He seemed to be totally comfortable with them. Josh and I were interviewed by the preschool teacher first and then the autism specialist. In all it took 2 1/2 hours. We'll meet again on the 26th to get the results from today.

Now we're all pretty tired from getting up early and talking all morning. We had an early lunch and both the boys are down for naps, hopefully they'll get some good rest. Cason seems to be coming down with another cold.

More snow, boooo! I can't believe how much this winter is holding on. Usually I'm out looking for crocuses and daffadil sprouts by now. We had a thunder storm yesterday, snow storm today, it doesn't make sense.

Jonah slept in until almost 7 this morning, so nice. He's been waking up between 5:15 and 6 for the last two weeks. Josh usually hangs out with him until he leaves for work and then turns a video on for him till I'm up. Today though he woke up in a really good mood and clearly needing some Mommy time. Instead of going out to watch tv he crawled into bed with me for a half hour. After breakfast he asked for his markers and colored for a bit while Cason and I were looking at a book. That was fun, because Cason usually has very little interest in books. He just wants to be constantly moving and exploring. I told Jonah that once I laid Cason down for a nap and we'd do a special craft. It was so much fun to spend some one on one time with him. I usually just tend to let him do his own thing because he's always been really content to play alone. At one point he said, "I really like coloring with you, Mommy". We made two foam animals and colored pictures. I colored a picture of mountains with a pond, sun and flowers. He said it was just like Colorado. Then he said, "You and Daddy live in Colorado and I live in Indiana, but I will move to Colorado with you because I don't want to lose my Mommy and Daddy." It was said in an incredibly cute way, not sad at all. He has always said that Mommy and Daddy live in Colorado for some reason. When he first got his Melissa and Doug United States puzzle, he would point to the different states and say where every one he knows lives. Nama and Pop are in Missouri, Nancy is in Oregon, Meemaw in Arkansas, Mommy and Daddy in Colorado. Even though moving is still over a year away we've been talking to him about it alot because we understand his difficulty with change. The vacation I mentioned is also to see how he reacts to the realization of how far away Colorado really is. He at this point has no resistance to the idea of moving. I asked him today if he knew we would have to live in a different house when we move and he said yeah, like of course we'll live in a different house.



Lions and Tigers!


I thought that the end of February/beginning of March was going to be hard on me, because that's when the baby I lost last summer should've been due, but it's been okay. I feel so blessed right now with my family. Jonah and Cason are such a delight in my life. They are so fun and I love knowing my family is complete and looking forward to the future. Josh and I are completely on the same page with the direction of our family and it's reallly an exciting time for us.